New York's Cooperative and Condominium Community

HABITAT

How to Avoid Conflict with Your Neighbors: A 12-Point Guide to Coexistence

Terra West in

  • Say hello. At the mailbox, while walking the dog or when you see a moving van arrive, introduce yourself. Learn your neighbors' names and regularly offer a friendly greeting.
     
  • Provide a heads up. If you're planning a construction project, altering your landscaping or hosting a big party, contact your neighbors beforehand.
     
  • Do unto others. Treat neighbors as you would like to be treated. Be considerate about noise from vehicles, stereos, pets, etc.
     
  • Know your differences. Make an effort to understand each other. Differences in age, ethnic background and years in the neighborhood can lead to different expectations or misunderstandings.
     
  • Consider the view. Keep areas of your property that others can see presentable.
     
  • Appreciate them. If the neighbors do something you like, let them know. They'll be pleased you noticed, and it'll be easier to talk later if they do something you don't like.
     
  • Stay positive. Most people don't try to create problems. If a neighbor does something that irritates you, don't assume it was deliberate.
     
  • Talk honestly. Tolerance is important, but don't let a real irritation go because it seems unimportant or hard to discuss. Let your neighbors know if something they do annoys you.
     
  • Be respectful. Talk directly to your neighbors if there's a problem. Gossiping with others can damage relationships and create trouble.
     
  • Remain calm. If a neighbor mentions a problem they have with you, thank them for the input. You don't have to agree or justify any behavior. Wait for any anger to subside before responding.
     
  • Listen carefully. When discussing a problem, try to understand your neighbor's position and why he or she feels that way.
     
  • Take your time. Take a break to think about what you and your neighbor have discussed. Arrange to finish the conversation at another time.

 
 The Las Vegas-based Terra West Management Services manages over 170 communities, representing more than 55,000 homes. This is adapted from an article in its E-News Briefing newsletter.

 

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